God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
