i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My penis needs a shock collar
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
