i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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