My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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