she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
