I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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