how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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