he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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