I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
