what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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