That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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