I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize