I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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