I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
