"it" just moved
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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