He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
