Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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