im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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