so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
