Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
