Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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