awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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