stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
