oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
