Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
we're so committed to being not committed
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
