guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
