Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
