she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I seem to have left my pride at pride
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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