The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
