she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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