We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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