He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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