kristin has been a bad kristin
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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