She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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