Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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