Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
