Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Can you bring me the toilet please
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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