WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
