so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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