Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize
