I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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