i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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