My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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