You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
