Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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