Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
