Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
