I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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