I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
