I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
