Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Never joke about your clitoris.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
