Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Mom said you looked used
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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