Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
