oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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