stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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