I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
There's always time for handjobs
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
