I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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