Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
