I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You pole danced in your parka.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
