Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
