Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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