Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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