I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
