My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
