I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
