we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
