What a fucking waste of an outfit
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
