garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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