the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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